Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
this just has baby written all over it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
