I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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