he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
