Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
