i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize