I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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