I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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