so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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