I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
