I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
