Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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