I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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