Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
