needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
