im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
