false alarm. still invincible.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
