Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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