Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
