It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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