Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
