They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I need to align my fucking chakras
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
