K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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