I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
porn star boner night. come get it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
