I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
