we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
time to smoke my breakfast
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
