I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
