so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
