If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
