Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize