I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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