and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
