You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
