just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
