Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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