I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
