Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize