ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
