Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
