singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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