I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
