the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
