how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
