I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
