I want to stick my p in your. b.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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