It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i out mim tonsoeep
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