I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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