she woke up with a sticky ear
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
