i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
