Rock
Scissors
Fuck
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
