in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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