what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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