I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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