I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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