So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
