When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize