can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
