how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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