Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
