If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
