So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
