I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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