Your tits are I can't wait for
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
