Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
