I have demons in me.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
