My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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