He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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