I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
oh god the rape fog is back!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
